In a world that values diversity and inclusion more than ever, we still often overlook one crucial aspect: communication. Not just what is said, but how it’s said, received, and interpreted. Today, I want to write about the “window of acceptance”—the often invisible threshold we each have for communication differences—and why it’s vital that we stretch it wider, especially in the context of neurodivergent graduates entering the workforce.
Understanding the Communication Gap
Let’s start with a simple truth: communication styles vary, sometimes dramatically. This isn’t just about accents or tone. It’s about the deep-rooted, often unconscious ways we express and interpret language, body cues, social norms, and intent.
When two people—say, an employer and a young neurodivergent job seeker—come together with very different communication styles, and the window of acceptance for difference is narrow, misunderstandings can happen fast. Words can be misinterpreted. Silence can be misjudged. Enthusiasm might go unnoticed.
The result? Communication breaks down. And often, so does opportunity.
What Keeps the Window Small?
Narrow windows don’t come from malice—they come from lack of awareness. Some common barriers include:
- Believing your communication style is the “right” one.
- Never examining your unspoken social rules and assumptions.
- Expecting others to “just know” how to read you.
- Dismissing other styles as blunt, rude, or disinterested.
- Responding to someone on the basis of how they make you feel
This isn’t just an individual issue—it’s systemic. When employers haven’t reflected on their own biases or learned about communication diversity, they unintentionally close the door on incredible talent.
How Employers Can Widen the Window
To truly embrace neurodiversity, employers need to learn what different communication can look and feel like. For example:
- Literal language: Many autistic individuals tend to be precise and literal in their communication. Ambiguity can create stress or confusion.
- Conciseness over social fluff: Some neurodivergent people communicate in a more direct, efficient style. That doesn’t mean they’re blunt or unfriendly—it means they’re clear.
- Different non-verbal norms: Lack of eye contact, a neutral facial expression, or fewer smiles aren’t signs of disinterest. These behaviors may reflect neurological differences, not engagement levels.
Understanding these nuances can prevent misjudgments and foster more inclusive hiring practices.
What Neurodivergent Job Seekers Can Do
On the flip side, neurodivergent young people can also benefit from understanding their own communication style and preparing for potential gaps. Two strategies can help:
- Finding Flex Points: Are there small, authentic ways to adapt? For example, if someone’s told they sound monotone, they might experiment with tone variation or include more verbal expressions of enthusiasm—if that feels manageable.
- Communicating the Difference: Perhaps even more powerful is having a short, clear script ready to explain your communication style. Something like:
“Just so you know, I’m autistic, and I might come across a little deadpan. But I want you to know I’m genuinely excited about this opportunity.”
This kind of honest framing gives employers a chance to reframe their expectations, reducing the chance of misinterpretation.
That said, this is just one example—what’s most important is that the message is personalised to reflect your own specific communication style, comfort level, and needs. There’s no one-size-fits-all script. The goal is to advocate for yourself in a way that feels authentic and clear to you.
A Two-Way Bridge
The ideal outcome isn’t for neurodivergent people to mold themselves into neurotypical communication styles and expectations. That road often leads to burnout and lost potential. The equitable and sustainable path is developing mutual understanding.
Employers must ask themselves: Are we judging based on skills or on how closely someone mimics our own communication preferences? And young people can ask: Am I helping others understand the way I communicate, so my strengths aren’t missed?
Moving Forward with Curiosity
The next time something feels “off” in a conversation, pause. Instead of withdrawing or making assumptions, lean into curiosity. Ask yourself:
- What might be going on for this person?
- Is there another, equally valid way to interpret their behaviour?
- Am I holding someone to invisible, unspoken standards?
Final Thoughts
Far too many talented autistic individuals are sidelined—not because they lack skills, but because of communication mismatches. The more we all expand our windows of acceptance, the more we allow real inclusion to take root.
Because in the end, the question shouldn’t be “Can this person communicate like me?” but “Can we find a shared way to understand each other?”
